It’s quite amusing that, while I’m under qualified for Egyptology roles (read: PhD-less), it appears I am also Undesirable No. 1 for the more standard job roles. I have made my bed, and now I must lie in it!
Now, I’m not entirely sure what a description of the ideal candidate for some of these companies is, but from the rejection reasons and odd interview questions I’ve had (and tried so hard not to laugh at while still in front of the interviewer!), an Egyptologist certainly does not fit the bill. So, for my Christmas blog, and safely after my suitability for the posts has already been decided, I thought I’d make a list of the most ridiculous reasons for not hiring me, and throw out a question: can anyone top them??
1. The Classic: ‘Thank you for your application; unfortunately, the calibre of applications this year was extremely high, and your skills and experience were not quite in the area we were looking for’. Feedback level = Zero.
2. The Stupid: “You’d be bored in this job.” This is my most common one. Yeah, guys, because being employed is so very riveting. ‘Scuse me while I rush back to doing…nothing….
3. The Nice Guy: “We just don’t feel that you really want to be in this field.” I always figured having a passion for a job was something quite rare; only applicable for the dream career that it takes a while to conquer. From Sainsbury’s stacker to retail assistant, if you don’t prove you’ve been aiming for the field since you were 14, you don’t have the team spirit it takes to make it!
4. The Patronising: “You’re too clever for this kind of work”. I’m unsure if they mean this as a compliment, while they have a bit of a pointed jab at their current employees….but
5. The Disdainful: “How would you cope with the social aspect of the team, because we have a very young workforce, and you don’t seem like you would fit in.” This was on account of the fact that, when they asked me what my hobbies were, I thought ‘drinking with my friends’ sounded ever so slightly unprofessional. Apparently gardening was NOT the right thing to replace it with. Ooops.
6. The Degree-haters: “Don’t you think you should have spent a year in business instead of in a Masters?” No. Because I’m only doing this until I can do the Dream Job, not because I have an insatiable urge to type up your spreadsheets. Unfortunately, you can’t say this. And I have a hard enough time keeping my face under control so as not to reveal it.
And then there’s the less imaginative employers who simply never reply to a job application…
A Masters seems to overqualify you for anything that makes any money, while underqualifying you for anything you actually give a damn about. So while I wait for PhD opportunities I’ve given up trying to convince someone to hire me and come to the conclusion I should just make my own. This Egyptologist is going into business! Website to follow as soon as I can comprehend the complexities of domains and design.
Merry Christmas to one and all!